Life is about choices. Is it not?
We hear it over and over again. Everything rests on the weight of our choices. When life plays out in its beautifully orchestrated way and we turn around finding ourselves looking directly into the face of an obstacle, we now must choose.
Do I go this way, or that way? Do I do nothing and then choose how I will respond to what plays out on its own? Much like little Alice lost in the dark, scary woods we panic and think “I have to decide NOW.”
Well you don’t always have to make the choices you are faced with in a split-second decision making moment! Yes, some decisions need answers immediately and that is when you go with your gut and follow your innate intuition.
But, what about the times that can wait? I wonder if Alice would have just stopped next to the sign pointing in all different directions and said to herself “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere tonight. I’ll sleep on it and decide in the morning when I have daylight which direction I shall take.” She would have made herself a little bed and went to sleep avoiding all of that frantic panic.
Acceptance and patience are two very, very powerful emotions (and choices) that should be honored and respected.
When I am faced with a huge, massive, heavy decision that, in all honesty, doesn’t need IMMEDIATE attention, I go through a 72 hour process before deciding anything.
I follow these steps:
- Acceptance. I accept that what’s done is done and that I am where I am. That isn’t changing. I see the massive creature of my decision in front of me, and I just look at it. I allow it to hang there in front of me. It’s a stand still. It isn’t going anywhere and it isn’t going to attack me. So I sit down, and just hang out with it.
- Tell yourself that you have 72 hours to make a choice.
- Allow your emotions to have a tantrum. I allow any and all emotion that I am feeling to go up and down and zip all around without paying much attention to them. I feel the emotions. I allow myself to feel them, but I don’t analyze them…yet. They are free to just do and feel whatever they want. Much like responding to a child having a tantrum, I will talk to them when they have calmed down.
- Sleep on it… twice. The first night I just go to bed and know that I will feel better in the morning. Our brain problem solves and makes decisions while we are sleeping. Trust in that process. The next day I feel better because my emotions have settled down, but I sleep on it again. The second night, I ask for assistance, guidance and clarity in my dream time. Asking for your subconscious to express its opinion is a fascinating tool.
- Voice it. When I wake up in the morning, I immediately open my voice memo app and speak my dream. Saying it out loud gives me a different kind of clarity about what is important and what isn’t.
- Analyze it. Then I put all of the pieces together for analysis. The timing of the decision, the amount of emotional response, the clarity of my dreams and what I truly have control over and what I don’t. It is fascinating to see how that massive, heavy decision looks a lot more like a small, little animal after the 72 hours is up.
I then know what needs to be done, and what doesn’t and I feel so much confidence and certainty with the decision I have made. I gave myself time to process, feel, ask and receive all before making the needed decision which I can then dismiss and send it along on it’s merry little way.
Acceptance. Patience. Time.
You’ve got this.
With lots of love,